Child abuse memories led Huddersfield Giant's Paul Whatuira to breakdown

Jan 19 2010 by Sam Casey, Huddersfield Daily Examiner

“I am happy that I did get arrested – I look back on it now and I was looking for help, I just didn’t know how to deal with it,” he said.

“I can say from the bottom of my heart, what happened saved my life.

“I am really thankful that I didn’t go down that path that leads to nowhere.”

He is now back in training with the Giants.

And he said he wanted to speak out about his childhood abuse to help others who had suffered.

“I want my story to help others,” he said.

“I want them to know that there is light at the other side of the tunnel. I do believe that I can help inspire other people. And the way to go about it is to tell it right and real.

“It was something that I have been holding in.

“It came back to bite me and it nearly pushed me off the edge.”

Three months after the episode, Whatuira said he was recovering well.

He keeps a daily journal, recording his progress and his inner feelings and has thrown himself into pre-season training.

“I am living my life and back to my normal thinking process – I am trying to live life to the fullest,” he said.

He is now hoping his story will raise awareness of the difficulties caused by depression.

“Everyone thinks that just because you play rugby league that you are a tough guy,” he said.

“But it is only a sport and we are only human beings – we do have feelings, we do hurt. Off the field we are just like everyone else.”

He encouraged other people suffering with the illness to seek help.

“I had dealt with it myself and that is not really the right way,” he said.

“If I had approached things in a different way, what happened last year would not have happened. But I didn’t know how to trust people enough to talk.

“My advice would be to be open, talk to your family and friends.

“I had been holding on to this for so long. But I should have talked to people about it sooner because it definitely eats you up inside – it leaves you vulnerable to depression and going in the wrong direction, which was where I was going.

“There is light at the end of the tunnel, there is help out there.

“If my story can inspire people in some way or another, that is what I really want to do.

“I must have gone through it for a reason and if I can help people out in any way possible, then I will be happy.

“Depression is a sickness and there is a cure.”

Vanessa gave birth to daughter Gabrielle Kaea Whatuira on Friday.

The couple are planning to marry in October.

And Whatuira is looking forward to family life and fatherhood.

He said: “I am over the moon – fatherhood is something that I will always cherish. I want to be strong for my family.”