Plenty of plusses to nuclear back yard

Jun 16 2008 by Our Correspondent, Huddersfield Daily Examiner

HAS Huddersfield town centre recently got a new type of pawn shop?

The old-fashioned pawn shop came with three balls hanging outside and a chap inside willing to lend money on items which could later be retrieved by repayment of the loan plus interest.

These went out of fashion some years ago but have they been replaced by shiny new shops offering cash for goods?

No longer are loans offered, but the items are bought and immediately put on sale. There are two or three establishments offering this service in the town centre.

Is it an indication that times are hard? Or do they reflect that our affluent society buys too much and gets tired of it too quickly? If that’s the case, a trade-in store is just the job: sell the old to help finance the new.

Maybe we should get used to them. Oil will eventually dry up and we could revert to a real barter system.

“I’ll swap you a Ford Mondeo for seven turnips?”

“What am I going to do with a Mondeo when there is no petrol in the world?”

“You can keep hens in it.”

“Go on, then. You’ve got a deal.”

This may not be so far fetched. Our world is changing fast.

The Government is already planning for a future without oil and ways to reduce carbon dioxide emissions and save the world.

It wants to go nuclear with new reactors providing enough energy so we can cock a snook at Johnny Foreigner trying to charge a million pounds a barrel for crude.

Trouble is, it first has to get rid of all the nasty nuclear waste left behind by the old nuclear power stations.

Hah, I know, said a bright spark at the Ministry for the Environment. We’ll ask for volunteers. And they have, too.

Environment Secretary Hilary Benn has asked councils and other groups to offer local sites where radioactive material (with a lifespan of thousands of years) can be buried.

Such sites, he says, will reap Government “benefits”. I think he means jobs and investment, but you never know.

So, if you have a corner of your back garden you’re not using, you could drop him a line and, before you know it, a team of blokes in donkey jackets will be round to dig a big hole, drop in a chunk of British Nuclear Fuel waste, seal it up and still have enough concrete left over to do your front drive (for a very modest price).

You’ll get Government “benefits” and the natural under-soil glow will illuminate your patio for free and grill beef burgers to perfection and you’ll never need to buy charcoal for the barbecue ever again.

Dylan was right. The times, they are a-changing.