Spend £400 and still keep every pound

Jul 18 2008 by Our Correspondent, Huddersfield Daily Examiner

ALTERNATIVE thoughts on health regimes, sent in by a reader:

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don’t know where she is.

I joined a health club last year, spent about £400. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures what I'm doing.

I don't exercise at all. If God meant for us to touch our toes, He would have put them further up our body.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.