Denis: I’m getting to the crotch of the matter

Sep 22 2008 by Our Correspondent, Huddersfield Daily Examiner

THERE I am, one minute banging on about the importance of the English language and how we should go to war to keep apostrophes sacrosanct, and the next I’m getting the basics wrong.

Shirley Lingwood of Kirkburton has chastised me for it.

“Now then, Denis, it’s obvious you've forgotten the point I made following one of your pieces a year or two ago regarding the problems you encountered when trying to buy new trousers for yourself.

“Still, as the years roll on perhaps we can all be forgiven our lapses of memory or ‘senior moments’ as I like to call them.

“What am I going on about, you ask? You’ve got your crotches and crutches mixed up again, haven’t you? I refer, of course, to your comments in Tuesday’s Examiner (Sept 16) re the ‘Saggy Bottoms’ fashion which can be seen around town, amongst a certain age group.

“Now write out 100 times: Crotch is a division, as in the human body, where the legs fork from the pelvis. Crutch is a staff with a cross-piece to fit under the arm, used as a support.

“Let's have no more of this carelessness, Denis. You must try harder.”

So that’s me told.