Andrew Jackson: Andy Booth’s knees for president of the People’s Republic of Piecrustistan
Mar 17 2010 by Andrew Jackson, Huddersfield Daily Examiner
THERE’S been a lot of talk on the Examiner’s letters page about getting rid of Kirklees Council.
Some people are saying they want to go back to Huddersfield and Dewsbury councils.
I think if we split up a made-up council we should push the boat out and make up newer, more extravagant names.
How about living in Potholia? What about Barry Sheerman for president of Tescovia?
What would the first lines of our new national anthem be?
“O great unemptied bins of Birkby, thou art dear to meeeee, the ungritted roads of Sally Nook, to thee I want to fleeeee.”
It’d be brilliant. We could have a Passport to Pimlico situation.
Border guards at Ainley Top roundabout with orders to shoot on sight anyone coming up the Elland Bypass.
Cooper Bridge roundabout being patrolled by scouts from Bradley.
We could charge folk a tenner to get in like they do when you go on holiday to Turkey.
Our own currency with Anita Lonsbrough’s head on Derek Ibbotson’s shoulders with the torso of Mehboob Khan and Andy Booth’s knees.
“I promise to pay the bearer his own weight in Jones’ pies and Merrie England soup.”
I’m up for it. Are you?