I NEVER liked being average and now I’m not, according to a survey from the Benenden Healthcare Society.
They have been studying the eating habits of the average Briton and have come to the conclusion that he or she will consume 2,453 takeaways in his or her adult lifetime.
This breaks down to 46 takeaways a year for 53 years.
This has to be the biggest under-estimation since Custer thought he was on a winner at the Little Big Horn.
Take me as an example. After all, I’m ancient and my wife has been trying to get someone to take me for ages but there have been no offers.
In the last 50 years I have eaten fish and chips at least once a week, which adds up to 2,600 times.
I didn’t discover curry until the 1960s when I had a prawn madras in the Kampala Press Club the night before going on a photographic safari. Lovely grub, bad choice. Thank goodness there was a lot of virgin bush available the next day.
Since then I have never stopped eating curry, although for the first few years it was scoffed in restaurants before the takeaways caught on.
During the 1970s and 1980s I had a carry out curry at least once a week (1,040 in total). During the nineties and the noughties (otherwise known by those who were particularly lucky that decade, the naughties), this went up to twice a week (another 2,080).
This has increased again in the last couple of years to three takeaways a week – two curry and one Chinese – adding another 312.
This gives a grand total of (hang on a minute, while I add it up) … 6,032 meals brought home in a bag or wrapped in newspaper.
How’s that, Mr Average!
The survey calculated that Joe Average will spend £17,250 over a lifetime on takeaways. Using the same calculations, my bill is £42,224. So far.
“Brits should be carefully considering their choices and asking whether a takeaway is really necessary,” the Benenden experts say. “Not only is it a hit on the pocket, but it could be a fast track to a range of health issues.”
Never did me any harm. Now, what shall we have tonight? Vindaloo or Chicken Szechuan?
