BRITAIN is well down the league table when it comes to having fun, according to a survey.

Social networking site Badoo asked 17,000 people in 17 countries: “How often do you have fun and a good time?”

Argentines, on nearly 15 days a month, came top. So every other day they’re having a knees up. They were followed by Mexico (13.7 days), Turkey (13.4), Spain (12.9), Germany (12.3), America (11.7) and Italy (11.6). Britain (11.3) came eighth. The Poles came last with just five days a month, poor souls.

"This makes Argentineans the world champions of fun,” says Louise Thompson, Director of PR for Badoo.

Two things to point out at this point: the survey asked mainly young people and Badoo is, they say, a site for chatting, flirting, dating and meeting new people.

One to avoid, then.

Why would I want to meet new people at my time of life?

But should we take its results seriously? After all, this is the site that two years ago voted Americans the funniest people on the planet. I mean, how wrong can you be?

The most powerful nation in the world that elected George Dubya Bush into the White House and who immortalised his presidency with such quotes as: “Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?”

They also said Brits were not as funny as we think we are. We came seventh. The land that produced such great figures of international fun as Mr Bean, Benny Hill and George Osborne, relegated to seventh place? Behind the Italians? Mind you, they do have billionaire party political animal Silvio Berlusconi, who can give even the Bullingdon boys a run for their money, so fair enough.

"Fun is an essential part of life", says Louise, getting back to the latest survey. "The ability to have fun is both an art and a talent."

The implication is that having fun is within the realms of only the young, virile and suntanned.

Which is rubbish. Try asking grown ups.

Fun is playing with your granddaughter – then handing her back and going to the pub. Having a drink and a laugh in a social setting. A good curry. York. Manchester United (or Huddersfield Town). Donegal. Friends. Dogs. Walking. Whitby. Sunshine. The latest daft joke that increases in hilarity in direct proportion to the number of pints consumed.

“My pet mouse Elvis has died.”

“How?”

“He was caught in a trap.”

Well, it was funny at the time.

The young pursue pleasure so ardently they often miss it in the fervour of the chase. The older generation appreciate simpler aspects of enjoyment. Like waking up.

But I have to agree with Louise when she says hot southern climes are more conducive to fun than cold, northern ones. Just lately, I’ve been getting a shiver of joy just because it is no longer dark when I get up in the morning. And if the sun actually shines, the paroxysms of unconfined rapture have my wife looking up the doctor’s telephone number.

"The real secret of having fun seems to be living somewhere hot and speaking Spanish," she says.

It’s no wonder we came eighth if those are the guidelines. We have no chance unless we work next to the oven in a paella restaurant.