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Denis Kilcommons: SatNav poem

THIS internet poem has been sent by reader Rodney Liversidge about that special variety of sat-nav that comes with no mute button.

THIS internet poem has been sent by reader Rodney Liversidge about that special variety of sat-nav that comes with no mute button. Does it strike a chord with you, too?

I have a little Satnav, it sits there in my car

A satnav is a driver's friend, it tells you where you are.

I have a little satnav, I've had it all my life

It’s better than the normal ones, my satnav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive.

"It's thirty miles an hour", it says, "you're doing thirty five."

It tells me when to stop and start and when to use the brake

And tells me that it's never ever safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red and when it goes to green

It seems to know instinctively just when to intervene.

It lists the vehicles just in front and all those to the rear

And taking this into account, it specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver has so helpful a device,

For when we leave and lock the car it still gives its advice.

It fills me up with counselling, each journey's pretty fraught.

So why don't I exchange it and get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I'm properly fed,

It washes all my shirts and things and keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages and my tendency to scoff,

I do wish that, once in a while, I could turn the flipping thing off.

 

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