Denis Kilcommons: Weird phones messages and curry pizza

I sampled an Asian pizza that had come from a local curry take away.\n The very concept put me in Peter Kay mode: Asian? Pizza?

Rob_Rob2001/Flickr Pizza was a treat too
Takeaway pizza was proving hard to get hold of

The other day, I sampled an Asian pizza from a local takeaway.

The very concept put me in Peter Kay mode: Asian? Pizza?

But it was delicious. I’ll get another one of those, I thought.

So a few days later, I phoned in my order and had a very strange telephone encounter. Granted it was conducted against the background noise of a bar but it left me confused and angry.

The tone from the other end was oddly threatening before the chap hung up with no order being taken.

Right, I thought. That’s no way to conduct a business. So I went round to the takeaway and told three startled gentlemen behind the counter exactly what I thought about their behaviour.

When I got home, I discovered I had called the wrong place. The number I had dialled was, in fact, for a takeaway that had closed some time previously. But that still didn’t explain the strange conversation.

I called again from my office and found I had been duped by a cleverly recorded message in which gaps had been left for customers to place an order.

The chap even said: “Anything else?” before he went onto a strange rant that ended with: “I’ll see you in about 15 minutes and, if I don’t, I’ll see you through the window. Okay love?” followed by a big kiss and: “I love you babe.”

What is a chap supposed to make of that? What, in fact, is a young lady supposed to make of that if she calls by mistake as I did? I’ll see you through the window? Oo-er, missus.

The message could be misinterpreted and leave listeners with a feeling of unease. Not clever and not funny.

However, I still had egg on my face (and no Asian pizza) after my outburst in the wrong takeaway. So apologies to the three totally innocent gentlemen in Honley Spice. Sorry chaps, my mistake. And your pizzas are delicious. Perhaps, if you forgive me, I’ll actually buy one.

 
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