IT'S the small things in life that can amuse and annoy.

I was listening to the Australian national anthem before a recent one day cricket international. Very nice, too, I thought, but there is no point me and the wife considering emigration. I don't think they'd have us if the words of the anthem are anything to go by. “Australians let us all rejoice, for we are young and free,” they sang. No mention of old folk, at all.

In the supermarket I saw that donuts were on special offer. A pack of six were modestly priced but the offer was buy one get one free. This was all very well except that I only wanted a single donut. What was I going to do with six? Or a dozen?

A television advert that always makes me smile is the one for P&O Cruises. The cruises look very nice but then the message comes up on screen inviting those interested to log onto their website: pocruises. Po cruises? as Peter Kay might say. Po? Cruises?

Not the best line in marketing.

And finally to the expression that always annoys me when delivered by comperes of variety shows as they introduce the next star or performer or talent show hopeful: “Give it up for ...”

Give what up? The phrase makes no sense. But then it comes from America so why should we expect sense. What we should expect is proper English from British comperes.

What small things in life annoy or amuse you?