I have got rid of those annoying recorded messages from a chap wanting to sell me a new boiler but the cold calls keep coming.

Most are from people who can barely speak English, can’t pronounce my name, yet want to sell me something.

Then I got one from a chap with a northern accent who I immediately suspected because he was so belligerent.

“Is that Mr Kilcommons?”

At least he pronounced my name correctly.

“I’m not interested in buying anything you have to sell.”

“I’m not selling anything.”

“I’m not interested in your scam.”

“I can assure you this is not a scam. We have some money for you.”

“Can you tell me who you are and the name of your company? I want to write it down.”

“I’m Nathan from the National Workers Office Industrial Benefits Department. We think there may be compensation due to you because you worked in heavy industry. Compensation like the miners got.”

“Really. That’s interesting. I’m taking notes because I’m a journalist.”

“Oh, you go out and interview people, then?”

“I used to.”

“Did you work in a noisy environment?”

“I worked in an office.”

“I have another name here. Antonietta Maria Kilcommons. Did she work in an industrial environment?”

“What’s your telephone number? I want to report you to the Telephone Preference Service.”

“Just a minute.”

He lowered the phone and I heard him shout across an office to someone else.

“There’s a guy here wants our telephone number.”

Then the line went abruptly dead.

Yet another scam. Which I have duly reported to the Telephone Preference Service via the Information Commissioner’s Office. Beware. From browsing the internet I found this one has been around a few years, making cold calls in an attempt to persuade people to make claims for industrial damages.

For a fee.

I was still annoyed when I got another call.

“Is that Mr Kilcommons?”

My immediate response was: “Please don’t ring me again. I don’t like getting these calls. They annoy me.”

Then I put the phone down. And the doubt started to creep in. I wondered if I had missed a genuine or important call or someone telling me I had won the Lottery.

That’s one of the side-effects of too many nuisance calls – it can lead to paranoia.

If this was a genuine call I apologise most profoundly for my rude behaviour. If it was the National Workers Office, clear off (that’s the polite term) and don’t bother me again.

And if it was someone telling me I’ve won the Lottery, please call back.