HALF the population of the country would be naked if no-one had invented denim.

We were talking about this the other night at the bar; a group of differing ages who all had one thing in common – we were all wearing jeans.

Everyone knows the history of the trousers that swept the world. They started as workwear in the 19th century American West and Levi Strauss became brand leader.

It wasn’t until the 1950s they became an unlikely fashion item after they were worn by Marlon Brando in The Wild Ones and James Dean in Rebel Without A Cause. This was about the time teenagers were invented and the two went together perfectly. Those 1950s teenagers are still wearing them.

Designer jeans started in the 1980s with names like Vanderbilt and Calvin Klein. I still have pairs of Armani and Gucci somewhere in my wardrobe that are 20 years old. Today, the pair that fit best come from Asda and cost a fraction of the price.

In fact, everybody’s wardrobe contains at least one pair of jeans. They are a fashion essential that is worn by everyone from princes to paupers. My wife Maria has 14 pairs.

When I bought my first Levis I put them on and sat in a bath of cold water for a shrink fit. These days they come in all shapes, sizes and styles from skinny to regular, boot cut to flared.

As the conversation got more intense at the bar, Rob declared that stone washed jeans got their distinctive look from lobbing them in a washing machine with a load of pebbles.

“But wouldn’t that ruin the washing machine?” I said.

“I didn’t say use your own washing machine,” said Rob.

Actually, when I checked it out, he’s partly right, only it is done on an industrial scale so don’t try the pebble trick at home. The wife might get annoyed.

Kev’s wife got annoyed when she saw the state of his ripped jeans in the days when the distressed look became fashionable. She thought they were scruffy so threw them out and made him a buy a new pair.

Big Sam said he was proud of his torn jeans. Of course, back then he was a lot younger and possibly slimmer than he is now. Unfortunately, they distressed his mum so much she mended them.

“She covered the rip with a really neat patch, stitched with a sewing machine,” he said. “I was mortified.”

He also recalled with affection a pair of Sea Dog jeans he had many years ago, a brand name which was new to me. Wrangler, Brutus and Lee Cooper I had heard of but Sea Dog?

They were apparently an American brand of hipster bell bottom jeans made in the 1970s.

I’d like to see Big Sam in a pair now.