IT’S an instrument that requires marginally more skill to play than a kazoo.

And it’s probably for that reason that the ukulele has become incredibly popular over the last few years.

It’s not the first time either. Plastics manufacturer Mario Maccaferri sold nine million of the things between the late 1940s and late 60s.

This ‘instrument’ of Hawaiian origin – essentially a scaled down and simplified version of the guitar – is cheap and its diminutive size and shortage of strings makes it a doddle to learn.

That’s probably why the ‘uke’ has boomed in popularity among children.

But that’s the problem. No matter what twee folk musicians and advertisers of online greeting cards will tell you, it sounds like a child’s instrument. It has all the resonance of an asthmatic flea blowing into a pillow and the clarity of a secret service document with all the verbs redacted.

The ukulele is very much the poor relation of the guitar, banjo and mandolin. In fact, it better belongs in the novelty instrument family alongside the Jew’s harp, kazoo and slide whistle.

At school we were forced to learn an equally limited and irritating instrument – the recorder. However, I don’t think a single member of my junior school class continued to play those weapons of mass irritation once our recorder lessons had ceased.

But annoying instruments aren’t just limited to children and lazy musicians. There are other quasi-musical instruments which appear even more widely than the uke during its current craze.

I’ve always had an ambivalent relationship with the bass guitar.

I love the sound of a rumbling bass line driving a tune along or an ominous bass riff repeating as the rest of the band crescendos.

However my problem, from the perspective of someone who’s been in numerous bands, is more with the bass player.

The majority are team players who lay foundations sympathetic to the tune you stayed up half the night to write.

Bad bass players, however, fall into two categories. The first is the kind of muso who has mistaken the bass for something other than what Leo Fender designed it for i.e. backing other musicians.

This egotistic breed of bassist doesn’t care about the song, he (and it invariably is a he) just wants to be the star of the band. He must be the loudest, play the most notes and generally do his utmost to ruin the song and upset his band mates.

The second is the sort that picked up the instrument because it looked easier to learn than the guitar. It usually has four strings (like the ukulele) and you don’t need to learn chords. Mr Basic Bassist will unimaginatively plod along to your finest work and hit more bum notes than Les Dawson when the going rises above moderate difficulty.

Anyone that tells you it’s hard to learn the real guitar has never played one.

Certainly, you’re not going to be Paco Peña or Jimi Hendrix within a few hours. But with a little practice you’ll be able to play a few chords – and successful bands have been formed with as little musicianship.

After a few weeks you’ll be playing a more versatile instrument and you’ll be able to write songs. And with your transferable skills you’ll be able to play the bass guitar and, if you must, the ukulele.