IT'S a parent's lot to feel guilty about some aspect of their role - but for one group of mums and dads, that guilt is felt even more deeply.
They are the parents of children with dyslexia and other specific learning difficulties, whose children are sometimes wrongly viewed as lazy or slow, and not given the help they need despite their parents' best efforts.
Now, after Dyslexia Awareness Week (October 8-14), the Dyslexia-SpLD Trust has released a survey which reveals that for the parents of children with specific learning difficulties, which include dyslexia (difficulty with words), dyspraxia (difficulty with movement and coordination), and dyscalculia (difficulty performing mathematical calculations), the greatest cause of stress is feeling guilty.
This, they say, is because although they want to do what's best for their child, they're not always sure they're making the right choices.
They also feel guilty because they want to help their children with reading and writing but get frustrated or struggle themselves.
Mel Byrne, director of the Dyslexia-SpLD Trust, a collaboration of organisations involved with specific learning difficulties, has two dyslexic children herself and understands other parents' anxiety.
"When you first find out your child isn't making progress with their literacy skills at school, there's a huge sense of anxiety and guilt about what you should be doing and getting the right information," she explains.
"Parents have lots of questions they want answered and feelings of isolation and uncertainty about what to do are very common.
"Mums, dads and carers have a great deal to cope with."
As many as one in five children have difficulties with reading and writing, and one in 10 have dyslexia. On average, a teacher is likely to have two or three children in their class with dyslexia.
The most obvious problems caused by dyslexia are with reading, spelling, and writing. However, there are often a number of additional difficulties, including putting speech sounds together incorrectly, confusion in directionality (left/right, up/down) and in learning to tell the time.
Problems in remembering things are also common, especially when it involves written language.
The Dyslexia-SpLD Trust's research found that when it comes to education, parents say the attitude of schools and level of support from the education system causes them the greatest stress.
This is closely followed by the teacher's lack of expertise and understanding - a finding reflected in the theme for this year's Dyslexia Awareness Week, which is Empowering Teachers.
"The survey highlights how vital it is that teachers understand dyslexia so that they can work with parents to support children in the best possible way," says Katrina Cochrane, head of education and policy at the British Dyslexia Association (BDA), which is a member of the Dyslexia SpLD Trust.
"We believe it should be statutory for all teachers to receive training in dyslexia and specific learning difficulties in their initial teacher training. At the moment provision is very patchy."
The BDA is campaigning to trigger a debate in Parliament on the issue, and is trying to get 100,000 to sign an e-petition about it (for more information visit www.bdadyslexia.org.uk).
Further causes of stress for parents of children with dyslexia or other specific learning difficulties include the lack of understanding among their child's peers, which affects confidence in school, the cost of private assessment, and the lack of equipment and specific materials in schools.
Apart from feeling guilty, additional stresses outside education include parents feeling isolated and not knowing who to turn to for reliable advice and information, the impact on the family, with siblings resenting the attention given to children with dyslexia, and mums finding it hard to get their partner to talk about their child's condition.
In a bid to improve life for parents and children with dyslexia and other specific learning difficulties, a team of experts from the Trust is running a series of free information sessions for parents and carers at locations throughout the country.
The Trust also runs a national network of Parent Champions, who give advice and reassurance to the parents of children with dyslexia and specific learning difficulties, and pass information to and from the expert organisations and parents.
"We want to give parents a voice and make sure they're being listened to," explains Byrne.
"We want to make sure they're getting the help and advice they really need to reduce their stress levels, and give them the confidence to deal with their child's dyslexia in a positive and practical way."
She adds: "The key is early identification, good support at home, and teachers who understand how to support children with these difficulties in the classroom.
"We come across very high-achieving dyslexic adults in top professions - with the right support, it doesn't have to be a barrier to success."
To find a local Dyslexia-SpLD Trust information session, and for more information about Parent Champions, visit www.parentchampions.org.uk. For further advice and information, contact the British Dyslexia Association helpline on 0845 251 9002.
