There really was life on Mars, according to scientists. They say it was then transported to Earth. Of course, they have to confuse a good story with facts. The “seeds of life”, they say, came from the Red Planet on meteorites, not in space ships.

But how do they know?

For years there have been those who believe Earth was colonised by creatures from outer space or that aliens came to guide, influence and help in the development of early man.

They have been credited with building the pyramids of Ancient Egypt and the Mayan pyramids in Mexico where, it is claimed, there are also 3,000 year old landing strips hidden in the jungle.

The mysterious civilisation of Atlantis is said to have been developed by aliens. Possibly men from Mars?

Russian scientist Anatoly Rubenis says they later vaporised it in a nuclear attack to destroy all evidence they had visited.

“Atlantis had been an advanced culture, most likely because the aliens had selected it for a space outpost and had trained its human inhabitants in the sophisticated sciences and arts,” he said. “But the attack literally bombed mankind back to the Stone Age. It took centuries for man to begin the climb back to even the most primitive of social systems.”

We’re still only halfway to primitive, if you ask me.

Perhaps mankind has been around for ever with every galaxy having an Earth, named after the original. which is somewhere the other side of Andromeda. That’s probably where honourable  chaps like captains James T Kirk and Jean-Luc Picard come from, leaving colonies in their wake, including one on Mars.

Then the folk there decided to come to Earth after their own planet began to suffer from global warming and industrial pollution. Perhaps once it was green before it became red.

And so they sent down a load of citizens to start again. And where did the first lot land? Why Marsh in Huddersfield, of course. There have been Marshians here for centuries.