They have been going around for years but they still make me smile.
It’s that list of extracts from letters supposedly written by tenants to the council:
It’s the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.
I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burned my knob off.
I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
Fifty per cent of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send somebody round to do something about it.
I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can’t get BBC2.
