I considered shaving off my beard and growing a moustache for Movember but decided against it.
The last time I lost it was after a mistake with my beard trimmer two years ago.
What the heck, I thought. I’ll take the lot off and shed the years along with the white hairs. I could end up looking like a teenager and barmen will ask me to prove my age. I might even get half fare on buses if I wore short trousers.
Unfortunately, I had forgotten that a beard hides a lot of imperfections, and I have a lot to hide, at my age: such as more chins than the Hong Kong telephone directory and skin like a Google map of the Ghobi desert with the wadis outlined in spidery red lines.
So I’ll keep it, if you don’t mind, whilst still supporting the concept of growing a moustache to raise awareness of men’s health issues, for blokes are notoriously slow at coming forward about illness. Apart from Man Flu.
Every bloke I have ever known, has suffered from Man Flu. They do it manfully, of course, and try not to moan too much whilst sprawled on the settee with the TV remote control in one hand and a bell in the other to summon their partner when in need of essential medical treatment.
“Another Guinness, love? It’s medicinal; helps me sweat it out.”
But when it comes to illness that needs early detection, in particular prostate and testicular cancer, men are more likely to soldier on or say nothing if in discomfort or worried.
The idea of Movember started in Australia in 2003, is now recognised in 21 countries and has raised more than £350 million.
Last year, £20.4 million was raised in the UK and, after costs, 88.3% of it went to cancer research and initiatives.
Those participating are Mo Bros and the ladies who support them are, apparently, known as Mo Sistas.
It’s a fun way of raising funds and awareness. Have a laugh at the chap attempting his first tache – but also give to the cause.
This is more serious even than Man Flu.
(If you’re a Mo Bro, why not email me a pic of your first fuzz?)