I'm a great believer in the National Health Service but the people who work there are human, as is illustrated by these examples of slight mistakes in correspondence, supposedly made by medical secretaries.
I cannot verify if they are actually true, but they sound as if they are, and they made me smile:
Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital; Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days; She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night;
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year; On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared; The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993; Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission; She is numb from her toes down; She was examined, x-rated and sent home; Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches; Patient was alert and unresponsive;
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce; Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized; The lab test indicated abnormal lover function;
Skin: somewhat pale, but present; Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities; When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room; She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.