Sue Papworth offers me a riddle.
“How many Indesit/Hotpoint engineers does it take to replace a wonky cooker knob covered by an expensive service contract?”
Answer: “Nobody knows because it hasn’t happened yet.”
Sue explains in her inimitable style: “After a day on re-dial back in November trying to contact a nice chap somewhere in India, he dispatched a carrier pigeon to a service department in Peterborough.
“Only a week later, Engineer Number One turned up to fix dead grill ‘n’ top oven.
Minus unwonky replacement knob.
He said he’d post it and I could shove it on myself and off he trotted.
“Dead grill remained dead. Wonky knob remained wonky.
“Spent another day on phone getting through to nice lady somewhere in India. She promised to try and sort a repair before Christmas (!) and dispatched the weary bird back to Peterborough.
“Despite headwinds, it made it by December 23 when Engineer Number Two turned up and fixed the grill. But it hadn’t told him about the wonky knob so he hadn’t brought one. So he’d post it. And off he trotted.
“Tumbleweed rolls by. Wonky knob sits there being wonky.
“Gent on Chapel Hill has had unwonky one in all along, possibly the only one in the country, as Indesit seem to have run out. If they sent him the money, I could go, collect it and shove it on myself.
“There’s a moral in there somewhere about expensive service contracts, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.”
