Chaps in West Yorkshire have been branded the nation’s Valentine cheapskates.
A poll by DatingPriceGuide.co.uk – it’s a dating help site – found that Londoners are the kings of romance with blokes spending an average of £49 on their partners to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
But men from West Yorkshire are cut price lovers and are bottom of the national romantic league table. They spend only an average of £11 on their sweethearts with a box of chocolates the most common gift.
Mind you, times are tough up north. And, besides, a West Yorkshire lad doesn’t need to flash the cash to impress his partner. His rugged good looks, natural charisma, flat cap and whippet do that.
“Sithee, our lass. I’ll not have you cooking on Valentine’s Day. Nip to the chippie instead, and get me two bottles of brown ale on the way back.”
Young couples with children find it difficult to make time for romance. Years ago, it was get the kids to bed, turn the lights low, switch off the television and sit down to a bottle of Chardonnay and Chicken Kiev from Marks and Spencers. This would be a major commitment of love, particularly if Manchester United had an 8pm kick off.
As our two daughters became teens, my romantic streak was shown in other ways. I made sure they got Valentine cards. I bought them half a dozen and signed them from celebrities. For years they though they were being stalked by Cliff Richard, Mick Jagger and David Bowie.
Another survey, this time by the AA, says that one in 33 marriage proposals will happen in a car. Which actually is not a lot when you consider that not many people will wait to Valentine’s Day to pop the question, never mind in a Ford Fiesta.
Of course, I have had amorous encounters of my own in my youth when motor vehicular romance was more popular than it is now. I recall parking on a very foggy night only for a chap to bang on my window half-an-hour later.
“Sorry to bother you,” he said. “But would you mind moving?”
“Why?”
“You’ve parked in my drive.”
Whoops. How to spoil the moment.
Proposals of a different kind were certainly made in motor cars.
“Get in the back,” I suggested seductively to one young lady.
“No,” she said.
“Go on. Get in the back.”
“No. I don’t want to.”
“Why not?” I said.
“I want to stay in the front with you.”
As this is Valentine’s Day I shall, of course, be showing my wife small considerations that show how much I care. I shall get out of her way when she gets the vacuum cleaner out and offer to close the door of the washing machine when she loads it.
And they say romance is dead.
Here are a few quotes on love for Valentine’s Day.
“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes,” said Henry Kissinger. “There’s too much fraternising with the enemy.”
Writer Jonathan Swift pondered: “I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing?” Which makes you think.
Hawkeye in the TV series MASH observed: “Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.”
And, finally, a quote from an unknown philosopher: “If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”