There have been moments while watching television that I struggle to hear the dialogue.

Perhaps it’s a new technique of reality drama, I thought. Or maybe I’m going deaf. Pardon?

At a crucial moment in the narrative, a character will mumble a line that could affect the whole meaning of the previous 90 minutes.

“What did he say?” I’ll ask my wife.

“Haven’t a clue. He was mumbling.”

I’ve tried turning the sound up but that can be unsettling when the scene changes to an action sequence and you are suddenly in the middle of World War Three and the first inclination is to dive behind the settee to avoid ricochets.

There are, I was led to believe, two culprits for poor sound quality. The makers of drama who believe in cinema verite – and flat screen TVs.

One director said, not so much in defence as in defiance, that people mumble in real life, so expect it on film, too. You don’t always hear what they say or understand the full meaning.

Which takes us back to the old First World War story of Chinese whispers. An officer on the front line told a runner to take a message back to HQ: Send reinforcements, we’re going to advance. By the time the message arrived, having been passed between half a dozen runners, it had become: Send three and four pence, we are going to a dance.

Sorry, but this reality excuse doesn’t wash with me. I’ve paid my licence fee and Virgin subscription so I want to know what the chap said, please.

Where the director’s argument falls down is that in real life if I misheard something I could say: “Sorry. What did you say?” You can’t do that on TV. You remain baffled.

The second alleged reason is that, as televisions have got thinner, the sound system housed within the inch and a half of high technology widescreen HD screen, has suffered. The sound, they say, was much better on those old TVs that were as big as battleships.

One answer, I read, was to buy a soundbar. This is a speaker system that sits in front of the TV and relays a better quality sound. But which one? They range in price from bargain basement to astronomical and I’m no expert.

So when I read a survey in the Independent newspaper of the 10 best soundbars I was delighted, especially as top of their list was Goodmans 45W that cost only £40. I ordered one online and it arrived the next day.

Simple, I thought, when I removed the packaging. A slim bar, a plug to connect it to the power and two wires, red and white, that slotted into two similarly colour coded sockets on the bar. These were connected to a single audio jack that went in the back of the TV.

Easey, peasey. Pardon?

No way could I get it to work. I tried switching off the TV sound system but that didn’t help. I tried different connections, switching it on and off, unplugging and starting again. Three times. I looked online for help and advice and became even more confused. Was my TV too old? Was the soundbar faulty? Did I have the wrong connections? Was I simply inept?

After three hours of trial and tribulation I gave up, put the soundbar in a corner in a dunce’s cap and went back to watching Captain Laure Berthaud in the brilliant French detective series Spiral. When that finishes, I shall watch re-runs of the Scandinavian thrillers Wallender, The Killing and The Bridge. I also have the boxed set of the Swedish trilogy Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

Who needs a soundbar? Who needs mumbled dialogue? These all come with subtitles. Pardon?