I never saw the point of sending anonymous Valentine cards to young ladies when I was a teenager.

You wanted them to know who it was from. Never mind boosting their ego, the idea was to kindle romance, possibly with a girl who was unaware of your attraction.

“Did you get many cards?”

“A few. But only one that mattered. It had roses on it and a lovely verse. So deep and meaningful. I think it was from Roger. I never knew he could be so sensitive.”

No, it wasn’t from Roger, it was from me and he is about as sensitive as a turnip. And that is probably a disservice to turnips.

So I ensured any card of mine was sent with a heavy hint of its origin – like signing it.

Valentine presents were a different matter. I embraced cravats when I was 19 with a pretension beyond my years and, accordingly, bought my girlfriend a Jacqmar silk scarf as a romantic gift.

Nobody else in our crowd had ever heard of Jacqmar silk scarves. Nobody else in our crowd wore a cravat. Wow, they said. Sure she wouldn’t have a preferred a box of Milk Tray?

From then on, I bought her a Jacqmar scarf for birthday, Christmas and any other conceivable occasion. By which time she was probably yearning for a box of Milk Tray.

But my finest hour in the romantic present stakes came some years later when I had matured and was working in Blackpool and had a new girlfriend who was a lot younger than me. I gave her a Gonk.

Remember those soft furry egg shaped creatures with googly eyes?

I was covering the International Gifts Fair which was held annually in Blackpool.

The Gonks were on a small display, hidden away from the crowd, but I was captivated because I recognised a perfect present and, as it was Press day, they gave me one for free for showing interest.

I wrote a humorous and informative report for the Press Association. In turn, the PA sent it out to every evening and daily newspaper in the country and, the next morning, I was amazed that all the nationals had given prominent space to my piece.

Gonks never looked back. They became mascots in University Challenge, they inspired records and a film, even Neil in the Young Ones had a Gonk collection.

Maria was thrilled to have one of the first ever released from captivity.

I like to think I helped launch Gonks onto a world ready for small cuddly creatures and that that particular Gonk helped me cement my relationship with the girl who was to become my wife, who appreciated the qualities of another small cuddly creature – me.

Isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is all about?