THIS message that arrived by email had me wondering if I had a secret admirer:

“I will seek and find you; I shall take you to bed and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake and sweat till you moan and groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

“I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I have finished with you. And, when I have finished, you will be weak for days. All my love, The Flu.”

This comment on the suffering I have endured from manflu came from David Armitage of Marsden. They are renowned for their wit and hardiness at the sharp end of the valley.

Me? I'm still suffering.