WHO delivers post on a Sunday? Well, if you live in Slaithwaite – deep in the heart of the yellow Colne Valley – your Sabbath visitors are often Lib Dems.
And so it was a few days ago when someone dropped their latest leaflet through my door.
The Lib Dems are the first party to push a leaflet through my letter-box this election season – and thus also the first to have their propaganda dissected in print. Lucky them.
The party’s veteran Colne Valley councillor Margaret Fearnley is standing down at this election.
My one abiding memory of Clr Fearnley is of the time she interrupted an interview I was filming in the bowling hall of Huddersfield Sports Centre.
It was during last year’s council election count and I had stuck my Nokia 96 in the face of Green candidate Chas Ball and was asking him some questions.
Clr Fearnley marched over to us, interrupted Mr Ball and announced that I wasn’t allowed to film there.
I found this most strange, since the council’s chief returning officer Rob Vincent had quite happily allowed me to film an interview with him in the bowling hall during the general election count the night before.
Perhaps Mr Ball has received an apology from Clr Fearnley for her undemocratic and disrespectful behaviour. But mine must have been lost in the post.
Speaking of the post, back to the subject. The Lib Dems have delivered a leaflet supporting the person they would like to see replace Clr Fearnley on Kirklees – Slaithwaite woman Lynn Bradbury.
It kicks off in the finest tradition of Lib Dems propaganda in the Colne Valley by announcing that Labour can’t win here so their party’s supporters must rally behind the yellow flag to stop the dreaded Tories.
“More and more Labour voters are backing the Lib Dems this time,” the leaflet tells us, without providing any proof.
But I wouldn’t be surprised if we see yellow voters drifting to red rather than the other way round, given the unpopularity of the coalition at the moment.
Which brings me on to the Government. The Lib Dems seem a little confused about how to deal with the fact that they are not a party of opposition any more.
Their old trick of using the prospect of a Tory victory to scare Labour voters into supporting them might not work so well this year. After all, it’s hard to make a bogeyman out of your coalition partner.
The Lib Dem leaflet goes on to talk about Slawit Library, which is apparently threatened with the axe (Kirklees denies this).
The would-be closure is variously attributed to “the mess Labour had left the country in”, “the Government” and “Labour-run Kirklees”.
There seems to be a lot of confusion here. Is it Gordon Brown’s fault that Slawit Library is apparently facing the axe?
Or should it be David Cameron and Nick Clegg who carry the can if the doors close for good?
Or maybe it’s down to Kirklees Labour leader Clr Mehboob Khan. The leaflet allows the reader to make any of these interpretations.
And while we’re on the subject, one might read a line like “Labour-run Kirklees” and assume that the people of Huddersfield are toiling in a one-party state.
But the fact is that Kirklees is a hung council and has been for many years. Labour only holds the reins of power because it has the support of one of the other two major parties on the council.
I’ll give you a clue about which one: they’re the ones who don’t like to mention their leader in their party literature.
Or, having read this leaflet, I’ll put it another way: I’m talking about the party which can’t decide, either locally or nationally, whether they’re inside the tent or outside it.