SCIENTISTS have called for a 20 year fishing ban in a third of the world’s oceans.
The seas around Europe are the worst affected with 88 per cent of European Union stocks over-fished.
We take so many fish out of the sea that the parenting population is being depleted which means not enough young fish are being produced.
If we carry on regardless we’ll end up with no fish at all. And then what will we have with our chips? If we suspend fishing we could face the same problem. What will chip shops sell?
Will a nice bit of cod suddenly be an under-the-counter transaction, slipped quietly into your basket while no one is looking, wrapped in plain brown paper?
Even during the war, fish and chips weren’t rationed. But perhaps they will have to be in the future.
"Sorry, Mrs Blurt, you haven’t enough coupons for a lightly battered haddock. It will have to be Spam fritter or meat and potato pie."
Of course, in Glasgow they will still have deep fried Mars bars to fall back on, but to be honest, I don’t see them as the perfect alternative with chips and mushy peas.
Maybe we should just blame the scientists and do nothing.
I mean, if it wasn’t for scientists we wouldn’t be bothered about global warming and washing our tin cans for the green bin. Or have someone suggest we should ration the number of flights we can make in a year.
"Sorry, Mr Blurt, you went to Lanzarote in April. Your August holiday will have to be in Filey."
Of course, it wouldn’t work. People would be selling their quota on eBay before the ink on the legislation was dry.
It’s like most Government persuasion to save the planet. Poorly conceived or proposed with a five minute soundbite in mind.
How many ordinary people who are driving around in a 10 year old motor are going to take advantage of the £2,000 discount to buy new?
An ordinary bloke driving such an old car is doing so because he can’t afford to buy new, with or without a £2,000 discount.
You may have gathered I’m just a little bit teed off about the way the Government is tackling environmental problems. They seem to be attempting to put a sticking plaster over a volcano while at the same time building a third runway at Heathrow.
Of course, we have to remember that democratic governments are elected every few years and they dare not take actions that are radical in case they annoy the population so much they vote them out of office.
So I suppose we should get used to the sticking plaster approach. And maybe deep fried Mars bars with chips and mushy peas.