HOSEPIPE ban? Drought conditions down south? And here we are in the middle of the monsoon season wondering what happened to those gentle April showers that bring May flowers.
It could be that we have become complacent about the weather because we had a mild winter.
But this week the temperature dropped, the wind gained a chill factor and rain has been torrential at times.
Has anybody checked Digley reservoir recently? We don’t want another Holmfirth flood.
I am, of course, going a bit over the top, but that’s because I adjusted the central heating weeks ago, fooled by light nights and a March heatwave more suited to June, in the expectation that summer was just around the corner.
It obviously isn’t. This week I have been mainly wearing a cardigan around the house and wrap up with my armchair blanket in the evening. And yes, I make no apology. I have a blanket. It’s a comfort thing.
I’m going on about weather to prove a point. A survey by Pimm’s (the drink that relies on hot summer days) says the weather is the most popular subject that Britons talk about.
In fact, the average person spends three months of their lives talking about it and almost everybody brings it up at least once a day. Mind you, they probably don’t talk about it so much in places like the Sahara desert.
“Turned out nice again?”
It turns out nice every day of the year in the Sahara so the weather lacks any validity as a talking point. Perhaps in the Sahara they talk about camels, Or sand.
On the other hand, in Britain, we get a smorgasbord of conditions.
I once walked into a snow storm at the top of Ingleborough in August.
The survey also said that 36% of people use the topic of the weather as an ice breaker. Ice breaker? Even in surveys about weather we can’t escape climatic terminology. Then again, my wife Maria is just the same. Particularly as she is the one who cuts the grass in the back garden.
This week she said: “At least this flaming rain means I can’t mow the grass.” Flaming rain? Then she thought for a moment. “But it also means it will make the flaming stuff grow even faster.”
Maybe there is a clue there. Instead of that new mowing machine I bought her last year, (yes, I know, I’m very good to her) I should have got her a flame thrower. That would keep the grass down.
As far as the south of England is concerned, they’ll be hoping the wet weather persists, with a short break for the London Olympics, until autumn. In fact, the Olympic anthem could be that Helen Shapiro song It Might As Well Rain Until September. If it does, the hosepipe ban might be lifted in October.
The survey also found the next most popular subjects that people talk about. Women, apparently, talk about television soaps, while men talk about sport.
I wonder if it will rain this summer and ruin the cricket?
