STANDING room only. Move further down the bus. Hold tight, please. Ding, ding.
And away goes Ryanair’s lightest flight. Well, it will if Michael O’Leary has his way. The chief of Europe’s most successful airline wants to remove seats from the back end of some of his Boeings and change the area to standing room only.
Oh yes, and you will have to pay £1 to use the loo.
These are ideas he floated ages ago. Ah yes, people in the industry said. It’s Michael chasing headlines again with daft stories that will never happen. Well now he seems to have upped a gear and is on his way to making them happen.
The airline already makes more money than any other from extras, such as charging for suitcases or the surcharge they impose for actually buying a ticket. But this takes it into new areas of manipulation and why should they stop there?
How about banning carry-on luggage? Then he can slip a couple of dozen extra passengers into the luggage racks.
Perhaps it will not be long before he realises the benefit of horizontal packing. Instead of boarding the aircraft, horizontal passengers will be expected to make themselves comfy in communal metal containers. Any friction between strange bedfellows can be soothed by adding a gallon or two of oil. This can be called Sardine Class. Of course, the oil will be charged as an extra.
And why not add half a dozen harnesses on each wing for hardy passengers with a love of the great outdoors? All-weather storm suits could be provided. At an extra cost.
Room for one more on top!
I’m a frequent flyer with Ryanair on the Liverpool to Derry route and think they are brilliant value. But I wouldn’t want to travel any greater distance with them than the 35 minute flight time that is normal to cross the Irish Sea.
Especially standing up, inside or out.