MY English grammar has let me down again.
“Like many other readers, I regard your column as a highlight of the Examiner,” says Alan Starr. (Thank your very much).
“However, being a pedantic old so-and-so, I found myself reaching for my fully-loaded Lynne Truss on seeing your repeated wrong use of ‘and I’, as in ‘my daughter ...... took Maria and I out’.
“I am surprised that a wordsmith of your long experience makes this mistake. If Maria had not been with you, would you have written 'my daughter took I out'?
Please set a good grammatical example to your readers, otherwise you will continue to offend my wife and me!”
Sorry, Alan, it won't happen again. (By the way, in case you were wondering, Lynne Truss was the author of Eats, Shoots and Leaves, a book about the misuse of punctuation. And yes, I had to look her up to find out).
Jack Armitage, of Crosland Moor, was very moved, so to speak, by my recent notes on Izal, toilet paper and long drop lavatories.
“It brought back memories of August,1946, when I was demobbed from the Royal Navy.
“My family had removed while I was away (do you think they were trying to tell me something?). They were now living at Blackmoor Farm, just below the Wills o’ Nats pub.
“The farm had no electricity, only a cold water tap and an outside toilet across the yard. It was a two-seater job; you could sit holding hands if so desired.”
But wait, there’s more. Jack caps this story of basic ablutions with another.
“I served on tank landing craft during the war. Twelve crew and two officers. The ratings’ heads (toilets) consisted of two three-seaters, facing one another, with a continuous stream of sea water running under the seats.
“Four of us could sit and play a game of cards – and we did. Many a time, the shout rang out: Oi – you’ve just trumped my ace.”