TOO much cheese can cause cancer, said one recent headline.

Drink sugar free fizzy soda on a daily basis and get a 61% higher stroke risk. Mind you, chocolate can be better for you than fruit, said scientists from (wait for it) the US chocolate company Hershey. Well, they would, wouldn’t they?

Red wine and beer, claim others, are good for the heart (but not by the bucketful).

A few years ago, one lot of academics said bacon butties caused cancer and another lot stood up and said ‘oh no they don’t.’ Which is just as well because this week the bacon sandwich was named the food that gives most pleasure at the first bite. The second and third bites aren’t bad, either.

Chips have been a guilty pleasure for many for years, but should they be? They provide vitamin C, doctors in Scotland said. If people were not eating fruit and veg, then chips were an important source of vitamins.

Curry, claimed some, was unhealthy and then along came a scientist who recommended it to fight off colds and flu in winter and a scientist who suggested it might help fight colon cancer.

Another study found there was a lot less fat in a portion of fish and chips from your local chip shop than you might think which made them a healthy option.

David Audley, President of the National Federation of Fish Friers, said: “The figures confirm the fact that Fish and chips is not just one of the tastiest but also one of the healthiest take away meal treats.”

And, as a chip fanatic, I say hallelujah to that.

By heck, though, the stuff scientists find out makes my head spin. They come up with something new every week.

Back in the good old days you knew where you were. The Beverly Sisters used to sing:

It’s illegal, it’s immoral or it makes you fat.

Oh, it really doesn’t matter what you’re aiming at.

If it’s something you enjoy, you can be certain that -

It’s illegal, it’s immoral or it makes you fat.

But these days you seem to be able to pick and choose your research to make it fit your lifestyle.

So this week I shall be mainly eating health foods of bacon butties, curries, fish and chips and a few pints.