THE seven year itch – made famous in the Marilyn Monroe film – has been cut to just three because of the pressure of modern life, I read in yet another survey.

Longer hours at work and money problems means couples have less time for each other, row more and have less sex.

The average couple spend just 13.9 hours a week in each other’s company and there is a trend for them to take solo holidays or breaks in order to revive the romantic spark.

They should take a lesson from the romantic stamina of the older generation. Mabel, for instance, who went for a check up at 80. The doctor said: “You’re as right as rain, Mabel. But why did you want the examination?”

“Well, doctor, I’m getting married and wanted to make sure I was in fine fettle.”

“Who are you marrying?”

“The undertaker.”

“Well, marriage is a big step at your age. Have you been wed before?”

“Oh yes, doctor. Three times. In my 20s I married a banker, in my 40s I married the ringmaster of a circus, in my 60s I married a vicar, and now I’m marrying an undertaker.”

“What on earth attracted you to chaps with such different occupations?”

“Well, it was one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and ...”