FLAT shoes are back in fashion. High couture has begun to feature them and high street retailer Peacock's have said ballet flats are out-selling heels three to one. Their sales have increased 70 per cent since a year ago.

Heels have had their highs and lows for years. For men as well as women.

I had my first pair of Cuban heels when I was a teenager. Remember them? The pointed toes would curl up after three weeks. I thought they were a brilliant innovation, seeing as I was only five foot six, but the added inch or two made no difference whatsoever when every other bloke began to wear them. I was still shorty.

My worst buy ever was a pair of Cuban-heeled fashion clogs. They cost a fortune and made me walk like a pregnant duck. They did not last long.

Platform shoes became popular in the 1970s, and weren't they a joke? The wearers could stand and sway at ludicrous angles like a music hall clown with their feet anchored to the ground by a ton of wedging. I had more sense, by this time, and didn't bother. I wore cowboy boots instead. Sadly, I still didn't look like Clint Eastwood.

These days, I usually wear normal shoes, although I have, of course, always retained an interest in the footwear fashions worn by ladies. It's probably my age, but I am not a fan of flat shoes, or stack heeled shoes, or platforms. I still prefer the classic high heel that can make an ankle so devilishly attractive.

Trouble is, these days, they hurt like heck after five minutes.