CHURCH notices with unintentional grammatical errors have been going the rounds for a while. Here are a new batch. My supplier says they are all genuine.

Ladies, don’t forget the jumble sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their schooldays.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7pm there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.