OSCAR Wilde once said: “Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”

Wilde was a miserable sod as well as a great poet.

But picking up a free magazine dedicated to the subject last week I couldn’t agree more.

The magazine, which I won’t name, proclaimed that the ‘gigolo’ look of the 1970s is making a return.

One of the seediest styles from the tackiest decade is back, although in some postmodern way we now accept that it is, indeed, tacky.

Flicking through the glossy pages I’m filled with disdain and utter alienation.

Why anyone would want to dress like male prostitute – because that’s what a gigolo is – is beyond me.

As anyone who isn’t a recluse or subject to a curfew will know, some young women on a night out are more than content to dress as if they belong to the world’s oldest profession.

Perhaps then the gigolo look is reinstating some sort of twisted gender equality.

Regardless, it looks ridiculous and pretentious and most will agree with me within the next six months if the poor, deluded souls don’t already agree.

The return of the gigolo look goes to show that pretentious rubbish, or just plain rubbish, can sell with the right marketing.

Look at Ugg boots. Woman can’t seem to get enough of them.

The fact they look like a four-year-old’s drawing of mummy’s boots doesn’t seem to matter.

Remember pedal pushers – the shorts that made an anorexic look like she had the thighs and bum of an opera singer? They’ll be back, mark my words.

So fashion is essentially useless and frequently vile but it’s one of those things that brightens up many people’s lives.

And what you wear says a lot about you. For example, if you dress like a gigolo people will probably think you’re a moron – and with good cause.

I’m no fashion guru – I wouldn’t ever want to be – but neither have I let myself go and started dressing like James May.

That said, I quite admire Mr May for his total indifference to fashion. I expect at 48 (his age) I’ll probably be the same.

But when you’re spending money you can’t afford in a scramble to keep up with the latest trends you need to get yourself some new friends.