LET it never be said that having a couple of two-year-old grand-children in your home is anything but a delight.
But you do have to watch them. Like a hawk.
Two-year-olds are not polite. They have no concept of politeness. Their curiosity is a raging fire.
It is curiosity untrammelled by politeness or diplomacy.
You or I might say to ourselves in someone’s home: I wonder what you have in that cupboard?
But that’s as far as it goes, and you swiftly move on to cracking open another can or starting a heated debate on whether George Osborne is an alien or a puppet.
It never occurs to two-year-olds that the answer to ‘what do you have in your cupboard’ might be none of their business.
It’s over to the cupboard, open, and out with everything in it.
This curiosity, coupled with the attention span of ... well, a two-year-old – means that your average house can be turned upside down in about seven minutes.
Harry set off up the stairs, followed swiftly by Charlie. They were on an adventure.
Upstairs is not out of bounds. I try to step over them and get up first, directing them into a relatively ‘safe’ area.
But on this occasion, last weekend, I thought I’d straighten a duvet in the spare room.
They found a set of boules in the main bedroom – please don’t ask – and bounced them so hard on the bedroom floor showers of dust came off the downstairs rafters.
They followed up by setting the house alarm off, something I can do only by sleepwalking through the beam when it’s switched on.
Chaos and mayhem? Charlie and Harry’s middle names.