How do you woo?
Are you the chaser or the chased?
Or, as it seems in some relationships the hunter or the prey?
There have been millions of chat up lines and dating tips advanced over the years.
Whether it’s taking a lady for a nice meal, a fun day out or simply trying to make her laugh I’ve tried them all.
I’d like to say I had great success with all of them but the honest answer is I’ve failed more than I’ve succeeded.
I’ve honestly never tried a chat up line - and I don’t know anyone who has - they’re probably too embarrassed to admit it.
Can you imagine being in Huddersfield and approaching someone and saying: “Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk past again?”
No, me neither.
But there’s new way to snare a member of the fairer sex - banging your legs on the floor.
It’s not yet spread to humans but in the world of spiders this is the best way to attract a mate - and it’s got to be cheaper than a date.
Apparently some male spiders ‘strum’ on leaves with their legs and the vibrations they create attract the females, who hear the ‘tune’ in sensors in their legs.
Spiders normally use this skill to sense predators or threats but it appears they can use in their courtship rituals.
The bizarre phenomenon was discovered by scientists who heard a “quiet chorus” of leaf banging while working in the forests of the United States.
Now biologists from the University of Cincinatti have looked into a bit more and are confident rather than just making noises for fun, the tunes they play are actually aimed at snaring a partner.
In a study they removed the vibrations and just played the noise made by the male spiders and the females still responded.
When it was the other way around the male spiders didn’t respond to at all.
It’s a bit like us humans - basically it seems the men are too ignorant to understand when a woman is interested.
However the female spider still knows, presumably through fabled female intuition which now appears to run throughout the animal kingdom, that a bloke is interested.
The sound worked but if you wanted to really get a female’s attention you needed to do it on a leaf or similar which vibrated.
It wasn’t as successful on surfaces such as concrete etc.
I’m not sure how quickly this is going to catch on with us humans though.
It’s hard to see a point where the bars and restaurants will be full on men banging their legs on the floor in order to try and impress the woman sat opposite them.
However, we’ll know if it does catch on as the trees of Greenhead Park will be be festooned with smartly dressed men smelling of aftershave kicking the leaves.
Maybe some things are best as they are eh?