THE singer of indie band Embrace has opened up about living with a mental illness.

Danny McNamara, a Brighouse-born musician, posted a blog online about his own Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

The 41-year-old songwriter said he has told his story after being inspired by coverage of other people speaking about mental illnesses.

He tweeted: “It’s taken 20 yrs to pluck up the courage, but hopefully it might help someone.”

In his online blog, available in full at danny-mcnamara.tumblr.com, the musician wrote: “...something happened to me when I was younger that up until now I’ve only ever shared with a handful of my closest friends and family. Something that has literally coloured everything I’ve done since.

“It was traumatic, terrifying, and it almost killed me. But it also enabled me to see things very differently. It enabled me to write songs for the first time, and has probably informed every single lyric and song I have ever written.”

He revealed that between the ages of 19 and 22 he suffered PTSD, when for “the best part of three years I was in a living hell”.

“I was having up to fifteen panic attacks a day. I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t eating... I almost died.

“Once I locked myself in the bathroom because all I could hear in my head were these awful voices telling me to hurt and kill. I didn’t want to hurt anyone but I’d been fighting my thoughts for months and I’d got to the point where I’d become terrified that I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.

“I even somehow had a knife in my hands. I remember shaking uncontrollably and sitting in the bath and turning on the hot water hoping the shock would bring me to my senses. It didn’t.

“As the pain from the scalding water went through my body the voices just got louder and more horrific and more confident and started laughing and saying I deserved it repeatedly over and over, and that I should use the knife on myself before I hurt my family on the other side.”

Embrace topped the charts in 1998 with their album The Good Will Out. Danny, his guitarist brother Richard, bassist Steve Firth, keyboardist Mickey Dale, and drummer Mike Heaton are currently working on their next album.

The former Hipperholme Grammar School pupil wrote: “The reason I’m speaking out now is because there has been a lot of coverage of depression and other mental illnesses recently. “People have come forward and spoken out in really brave and touching ways about how they have learned to live with, overcome and even in some cases embrace the dark side. And I found it inspiring.

“Lots of people suffer for months and years in silence because of the stigma attached, or worse still (as was the case with me) because they fear they’re going to be locked up.

“I’m really lucky I got help. My mum literally carried me to the doctors in the end, and I’m better now. Not just well, but better. Better than I ever was before.”

Beth Murphy, head of information at mental health charity Mind, said: “Mental health problems affect similar numbers of men and women but men are half as likely to be diagnosed, partly because many men don't seek the help they need. Not seeking help can be fatal. Around 4,000 people take their own lives every year and three-quarters are men.

“Stigma plays a big part in preventing men from going to their GP about their mental health. A survey by Mind found that one in three men with depression feel embarrassed about seeking help because of ingrained beliefs about masculinity and the attitude that ‘real men don’t cry’.

“When people in the public eye speak out about their mental health problems it can have an enormous impact on people in a similar situation and we hope that Danny’s powerful blog post will inspire and encourage men, and women, experiencing similar feelings to open up and talk about what they are going through.”

Contact Mind on 0300 123 3393, email info@mind.org.uk or visit www.mind.org.uk