‘I wish we lived in Cleethorpes so we could go to Pleasure Island every day’

LET’S get one thing straight from the start; Pleasure Island at Cleethorpes is not on an island.

It’s dead easy to get to this family theme park and you can park right outside. No ferries or bridges involved.

It has some major advantages over other theme parks.

It’s normally reasonably quiet, so you’re often straight on the rides. Even some of the thriller rides were waiting for the daredevils to turn up and try them.

Not queuing for ages is a big plus.

Although the park is well laid out and there is a feeling of open space it’s fairly compact. So you’re never far from the youngsters if you want to give them some freedom.

It caters properly for all age groups; not just a few token rides for the under-fives.

There’s a decent spread for them and even a junior runaway Mini Mine Train, which gave my two-year-old a good taste of the adrenalin theme park pleasures to come when he’s a bit older.

He knows no fear, but he knows what he likes.

And he loved the Mini Mine Train, along with the Kiddies Kingdom railroad train, some sit-on-and-ride ponies, indoor roundabouts and Tommy Tinkaboo’s Sweet Adventure Water Ride.

We never actually met Tommy Tinkaboo, who sounded like a cheaper version of Willy Wonka.

We took 13-year-old George, Rosie, aged eight, and 11-year-old chums Sally and Jess.

All loved the day.

In fact, Sally had begged us to take her there for months after being before with Jess.

The journey to Cleethorpes is about 100 miles and just short of two hours. But it’s an easy drive along the M62 to junction 35, then down the M18 for a couple of junctions before taking the M180 right to the resort.

The car parks are bang outside the gates, so the fun starts immediately.

It’s a mix of rides and shows.

The shows this year include parrots, sea lions, Masai warriors and Basil Brush. Not, of course, all on the same stage.

That would be surreal.

Those anxious to be thrown upside down, twisted around at stomach-churning speeds, flipped over and generally chucked about in a way that makes a mockery of gravity have plenty to go at.

Top ride must be the Hydro Max. This consists of seats strapped to a huge girder that screams through the sky, making the riders scream even louder as the seats violently rotate.

All good fun.

Beware the Boomerang – an intense rollercoaster that twists upside down – and the Alkazam. This is the only ride I’ve ever seen where you lay flat, hold tight, shut your eyes and hope for the best.

Others include the dodgems – you can’t beat ‘em – a galleon, the Falls Of Fear, which guarantee a drenching in a dinghy down a long winding tube and the huge ‘barrel of laughs’ Pendulus; you’ll know what I mean when you go on it.

Then there are pedal boats, slides and roundabouts.

A day wasn’t long enough to get to all the shows, have a picnic and try out all the rides.

There are food halls with baked potatoes, as well as the usual chicken nuggets and chips. Meal deals are just short of a fiver and ice-creams around £1.50.

Would we go again?

We’ll let Rosie have the last word on that as she’s just made the longed-for 1.3m height limit and so went on the big rides for the first time at any theme park.

“I wished we lived in Cleethorpes so we could go to Pleasure Island every day,’’ she pronounced loudly on the way home.

Not sure about the living in Cleethorpes bit, but we’ll be going to Pleasure Island again!

l Single admission is £14.50 and a family ticket is £52. Under-fours are free and senior citizens are £8.50.