There are plenty of statistics to show that loneliness and isolation are now a big issue for British society – and that the situation is likely to worsen.
In a recent speech Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt referred to the 800,000 “chronically lonely” people identified by the Campaign to End Loneliness and said that being lonely was as damaging to health as smoking or obesity.
His revelations came at the same time as a BBC poll, which found that almost half of adults living in Yorkshire and Humberside said they experienced loneliness. Unsurprisingly, those living alone were the most affected and the highest number of people on their own are aged over 65.
But, while getting older, with its attendant health difficulties and higher risk of bereavement, can lead to loneliness, there are many other factors that cause social isolation – from unemployment and divorce to mental health problems and homelessness – for all ages.
But such is the scale of the problem for older people that TV personality and ChildLine founder, Esther Rantzen, recently launched a new helpline, this time for the over 65s, called Silver Line.
Ms Rantzen was inspired to create the service, which has received �5m of Big Lottery funding, after writing about her feelings of loneliness following the death of her husband Desmond Wilcox. Her article touched a national nerve and elicited a massive response from those who shared her experience.
The former ‘That’s Life’ presenter has said that loneliness carries a stigma, which makes it difficult to talk about and sufferers will often not even admit to having a problem. Research by Silver Line found that nine out of 10 older people say that a chat on the phone can be most helpful for beating loneliness but one in four have no-one to talk to.
Christmas is a particularly lonely time for those who have been bereaved, separated from loved ones or simply have no family or caring relationships.
A survey of adults in the region, by legal body Resolution, found that nearly 15% say they will be lonely at Christmas, with one quarter of divorced or separated people dreading the festivities.
According to the Office for National Statistics as many as 7.7m people in the UK – one third of the population – live alone and over the last decade increasing numbers of those over 45 are living by themselves. Since 2003 the number of pensioners living alone has increased by 8%.
Caroline Abrahams, charity director at Age UK, says cuts to local authority budgets are worsening the problem of loneliness and isolation.
She added: “Feeling lonely not only makes us miserable, it increases our risk of developing serious mental and physical health problems.
“We can all do our bit to help fight this growing problem by making time for older relatives and checking in on older friends and neighbours.”
Voluntary organisations and charities are often in the frontline for tackling loneliness.
Huddersfield has a number of initiatives, including luncheon and over-sixties clubs; church groups; the OWLS weekday leisure club; and the University of the Third Age.
A prime example of the community rallying round to help others is a new outreach ‘Meeting Point’ group recently founded in Holmfirth.
The group, formed by members of Holmfirth Parish Church, meets once a month in the Gallery Room and, in the words of organiser Sue Styring: “It is open to anyone who would like some company and friendship and interesting and stimulating activities.
“There has been a lot in the news recently about people being lonely and feeling isolated. I was listening to a programme on the radio about Esther Rantzen’s Silver Line and called in with details of our club.”
For many years Holmfirth had a luncheon club, which folded in the summer, and the new organisation hopes to take over the social function of the club.
Mrs Styring says the first meeting of the new group earlier this month attracted over 50 people, including a small team of church volunteers.
She explained: “We saw a film called “A Wall of Water” by Mike Wade, which is about the Holmfirth flood. He had interviewed people with living memories of the flood. It was really interesting and, I think, attracted a lot more men to the meeting, which was good because they tend not to join in as much as the women.”
The group would also like more men to act as volunteer helpers (contact details at the end).
Holmfirth Vicar, the Rev Keith Griffin, says the outreach group differs from the former luncheon club in that church members are actively seeking out people to attend.
“Loneliness has always been an issue and this is just another place where people can come for help – other churches are doing this kind of work too,” he said.
The Rev Griffin agrees that loneliness can carry a stigma and added: “We are trying to find where the genuine need is among people who won’t speak up or say anything.
“An older person in church was saying that he lives on his own but doesn’t speak to his children about being lonely because they have their own lives and concerns.
“You can admit to illness and health issues, even mental health issues, but talking about something like loneliness can come across as weakness.”
This hidden side of loneliness is something that is all too familiar to Sallyanne Green, one of the founders of Slaithwaite’s Meals on Wheels service. She is part of a team that delivers 31 meals on a weekly basis to elderly people – some of whom are housebound. Many, she says, have few visitors but won’t admit to feeling isolated.
“A lot of older people say they’re fine and don’t want to make a fuss. They have their pride,” she said.
“They say Christmas doesn’t mean anything to them any more and that they don’t want to be an inconvenience. But you have to look beneath that.
“I visit one lady who will say that she doesn’t want any Christmas decorations but when I go and put them up she absolutely loves them.
“Unfortunately quite a few of them have families but their sons and daughters don’t seem interested in them.
“When I deliver a meal, quite often they say ‘just leave the meal’ I want to talk. The meal is almost secondary and they’ll eat it when I’m gone. I spend quite a lot of time with the people I deliver to, to me that’s the most important thing of all.”
Sallyanne shares the belief that the problem of isolation in communities will worsen and the need for community action will therefore grow.
Since Slaithwaite launched its Meals on Wheels – featured on the Hairy Bikers’ television show – two-and-a-half years ago, similar schemes are now up and running in Golcar and the Holme Valley.
Slaithwaite began by delivering 12 meals a week and now takes out almost three times that number of lunches every Wednesday as well as fish and chip meals on Fridays.
The new Meeting Point organisation in Holmfirth has its next get-together on Wednesday, December 18, at the parish church from 2.15pm to 4.15pm.
Volunteers can contact the organiser Sue Styring on 01484 661878.
The festive season, while a time of joy and celebration for many, can be the harshest time of year for the lonely, bereaved and heartbroken.
That’s why the Samaritans charity, which runs a helpline for those in despair, always sees an increase in the number of calls over Christmas.
Michael George from the Huddersfield Samaritans says the very fact that most people are enjoying themselves can make those with problems feel worse.
“People without families see that other people are having family time, which highlights their own situation,” he explained.
“It can be difficult for those who don’t have someone to share things with.
“At this time of year people may look back at happier times and notice the empty chair at the table. Sometimes, strangely enough, people can feel most lonely when other people are around and they are not connected with them and thinking of the person who isn’t there.”
Even after Christmas is over, the organisation continues to be busier.
Michael added: “The New Year can also be difficult because it is a reflective time and people are looking back on how they’ve felt the previous year.”
The Samaritans have a 24-hour helpline right over the festive season. To speak to a trained volunteer call either helpline on 01484 533388 or 08457 90 90 90.
The Huddersfield group, which has 78 active volunteers, is always looking for more helpers to staff the phone lines, particularly those willing to take on the night shift.
“This is the most difficult time to get volunteers to do,” said Michael, “but it is the most lonely time for those who call us.”
To volunteer call 08705 62 72 82 or 01484 515673 or email: volunteering@samaritans.org or recruitment huddersfield@gmail.com
The real spirit of Christmas is to be found at festive lunches organised for the lonely and disadvantaged.
This year Huddersfield will host a number of such events, including a meal for 150 people at the Jubilee Centre in Paddock on Christmas Day itself.
The annual lunch, which began six years ago and was masterminded by Community Church member Charlene Novak, will pull in people from many walks of life. This year, although she and her family will be attending as usual, she has handed over the organisation to a committee.
Charlene says that while many of those who attend are elderly “with no family left or a family who don’t bother with them”, the team also entertains whole families, people living away from their relatives, international students and the homeless.
She explained: “A lot of the students are a long way from home and they want to come along to help out.
“Last year we saw an increase in the number of families with children, people who just didn’t have the money to celebrate Christmas at home, and we expect to see more this year.
“The homeless are the hardest people to contact and we just have to rely on them getting themselves here, but we never turn anyone away on the day.”
Charlene says the day can be an emotional one for both the helpers and those attending: “We get women who are crying when they see my kids. They have families that they don’t see any more or live far away, or everyone they knew and was around them has died. “It breaks your heart.”
But the helpers aim to give everyone a good time. It’s what Christmas is all about, says Charlene.
And the work of the Community Church continues all year, with befriending groups for everyone from mother and toddlers and refugees to older people and vulnerable adults.
The church has to fundraise to run the groups, which are mostly free, and the annual Christmas lunch alone costs over £1,000. This year it was supported financially by a number of local organisations and individuals, including a firm of window cleaners, a 92-year-old well-wisher who sent a cheque for £500 and a bereaved family who asked for contributions instead of funereal flowers.
“I think it’s wonderful that it has been supported by the wider community and we have so many volunteers who come together on the day,” said Charlene. “It makes it more special somehow.”
Huddersfield Methodist Mission is also hosting two Christmas lunches on December 17 and 20, and supporting an event on Christmas Day at the John Smith’s Stadium for 100 people.
