Pete Barrow: Can you find a footballing Dad's Army XI?
Dec 3 2010 by Peter Barrow, Huddersfield Daily Examiner
FINDING ways to kill time on car journeys is the bane of a lot of people’s lives.
For those with young children it is an almost ceaseless challenge and it isn’t that much easier for football fans travelling the length of the country.
Strangely my mind started working on this issue last Saturday when it was announced that Yeovil fans had managed to get all the way to Hartlepool – a six hour drive just one way – only to see the game called off and have to turn around for another six hour trail back home.
Then into the equation came the AFC Wimbledon v Stevenage tie in which Wilson and Walker were paired on the right flank for the Borough.
Suddenly inspiration struck and I spent the rest of the game trying to piece together a Dad’s Army XI using the names of the characters and trying to find players from any era to form a team to take on the Germans.
It is not as easy as you think. I quickly slotted Vinnie Jones and Glyn Hodges into midfield, Ray Wilson was at full-back and Clive Walker was roaming up front, but the wheels were already beginning to drop off my squad building.
I managed to unearth Stockport’s Matty Mainwaring, and also decided that Bay Athletic’s prolific striker Paul Pyke (while taking a few liberties with the spelling) had to play in attack even if only so that when he missed a sitter the rest of the team could say in unison ‘You stupid boy Pyke’ – can I apologise in advance to Paul should any of his teammates mistakenly take this as a prompt.
But I was stunned to struggle with finding a Godfrey, Frazer or Yeatman of any footballing note and gave up way before trying to discover had there ever been a Sponge (the quiet one) or Cheeseman (the Welsh one with the thick glasses).
Obviously you can apply this to any television programme, but the long running soaps are the easiest place to start due to the number of names to choose from – and beware programmes with small casts as it doesn’t really work.
I’ll have to break off now as I am busy trying to find a Simmonite for my Last Of The Summer Wine XI.
