There is a well known saying that there is no ‘I’ in team.
Sadly Iceland, whose name conspicuously includes the vowel right at the start, never seem to have heard this adage and
produced the type of team performance that is required to win football matches.
Football, like many sports, is one of those games where if you play as a team it gives you a distinct advantage against an opposition who not only fail to understand the meaning of well-known phrases, but also don’t have any idea when it comes to the meaning of single words – like team!
Anyway in an attempt to try and cheer up all you England fans after such an ignominious exit from the “2016 European Championships I propose a quick game of ‘The Uxbridge English Dictionary’ where you think up new definitions for words – as popularised by Radio Four comedy show I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue.
Just before we start, coincidently the phrase ‘I’m sorry I haven’t a clue’ was the standard reply of those England players asked the question “What exactly was your role on the pitch?” after the Iceland match.
So here we go:
Twerk: What Yorkshire football fans expect to see from all t’players on t’pitch.
Direct: What happened to the 2016 European Championship hopes of Slovakia, Russia and Northern Ireland.
Sterling: What is forked out in English football to distinctly over-rated and definitely overpaid and over-priced players – it is reportedly in decline.
Treason: What Yorkshire-based England fans would call Roy Hodgson after his side went out of the Euros.
Waggle: Collective noun for footballers’ wives and girlfriends. Evanescent: A Welsh fan who glows in the dark.
Teutonic: What German fans order with two gins.
Tadpole: Those punters leaning ever so slightly towards backing a Polish victory.
Five-A-Side: To take out your frustrations at by being beaten by Iceland by killing a boy band.
Brexit: What happens when a 24-stone Barnsley fan sits on flimsy plastic football stadium seat.
Piston: To be humiliated (see England v Iceland in the 2016 European Championships).
