Football hooliganism just isn’t the same these days.
An Arsenal fan has been accused of throwing red wine at the Manchester United bench at the Emirates on Saturday evening.
It hardly constitutes the heady – or perhaps that should be heavy – days of the seventies and eighties where groups of fans would sing songs offering each other the opportunity of cranial reconstruction or even trips with paramedics in their transportation while gilding their verse with what could be best described at ‘pit language’.
The incident occurred as the United camp celebrated their opening goal in the 2-1 win, but the preparation for this act of ‘aggression’ must have been a thing of beauty.
Given the inflated prices, Arsenal season tickets are probably the preserve of investment bankers and you can imagine ‘Hugo’ and ‘Tarquin’ conspiring on the way to the game.
A crafty trip to the Oddbins in Kentish Town will have led to an argument over what to pay ended with them rejecting spending a ‘nifty’ on the Domaine de Montille Volnay ‘Les Taillepieds’ Premier Cru 2008, but also deciding they couldn’t be seen dead with plonk in their possession, so they settled for chipping in a tenner each on a bottle of Château Cambon la Pelouse 2006.
Then, having taken their seats behind the visitors bench, picking the perfect moment to launch their shower of expensive crushed grape juice.
It was reported that the United personnel ‘were understandably not happy’.
If only they had pulled this little stunt before the Moyes and Van Gaal regimes, because then at least one of United’s staff – possibly vaguely resembling television detective Taggart – would have just been stood there with his gob open.