Graham Denby column: Footie and fish

Feb 3 2010 by Graham Denby

Maxine, the co-owner and upper management arm of the Café, knows little about football, so naturally she supports Man Utd.

One thing I noticed after watching that rather dull match the other week, you remember, on Wednesday night – Villa v Blackburn, Carling Cup semi-final second leg, was the high-fiving, hand clasping show from the officials before kick-off. I mean, what’s all that about! What exactly are they going to say?

Ref: ‘Yeah, right man, great flag action in the warm up, nice high wave to, whoo-hoo!’

2nd Official: ‘Cool Ref, yeah, you too man, super whistling, really piercing, they’re gonna hear that yeah!’

2nd 2nd Official: ‘Great guys, lets keep with it, the wingers all look a bit slow, bangin’ offside decisions we’re gonna give tonight, focus eh guys!’

All three together in a chant: ‘Ball’s over top, Flag up - stop! No interfere with play, Flag goes away! Penalty shout, Arm shoots out. Whistle, point, card, three games barred!...yeah!’

I ask again, what’s it all about? From what I saw and heard of the interviews at the end of the Villa game, Big Sam Allerdyce fancied doing some serious slapping of his own, and he looks like he can slap a bit. Perhaps that’s why we never saw the third official practising with the others.

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