Things not to do this holiday

Aug 31 2009 by Chris Mellor, Huddersfield Daily Examiner

WE’VE all seen those lists in flash magazines and colour supplements: ‘100 things to do before you die’. As if swimming with dolphins or going on safari is a life changing experience. It isn’t.

Well now here is a small pocket-sized tome from Sam Jordison entitled Sod That! 103 Things NOT To Do Before You Die (Orion, £6.99) that is antidote for all those who are fed up of being told what to do.

“It’s for all the ordinary people who are tired of lists of 100 best books, best films, and the funniest comics ever, as voted for on the internet by people under 30, so that Tommy Cooper never wins.

“With all entries based on real suggestions from other list books and websites, Sod That! will assure its readers that they don’t need to feel spiritually inferior just because they haven’t gone to all the money and effort of getting to, say, Easter Island.”

Not only that, it’s a funny read as he debunks the appeal of joining the mile-high club, going to the Glastonbury Festival, reading Ulysses or throwing a dart in a map and travelling to where it lands.

Walking on fire is over-rated, he says. Ask the 28 people who suffered serious burns during an attempt to break the fire-walking world record in New Zealand.

Going shopping in Milan, riding a gondola in Venice and visiting Florence are all kicked into touch, although I actually did visit Florence. Nice girl.

“This book is a rallying call for common sense and dignified indolence over hectic, wasteful and morally dubious over-activity. Sometimes staying at home is the best thing to do with your time,” he says.

I couldn’t agree more.