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Denis Kilcommons: Bedroom pet hates

GOODNESS knows what the neighbours think. Read

Denis Kilcommons as the next Doctor . . ?

ACTOR Matt Smith has been named as the next Doctor Who, which is a bit of a choker. I was hoping maybe I would get a go myself. Read

Denis: Go green, ditch those gadgets!

THERE I was, contemplating life in the bathroom, when it struck me. The recession need not bite so fiercely if we only stopped using an electric toothbrush. Read

Denis: When going to the dentist is a laughing matter

I HAD heard all the scare stories about the shortage of National Health Service dentists. Read

Denis: A musical mystery

IT is always annoying when your television reception goes wrong. Especially when it’s a sports channel. Read

Denis: I don't recognise my own Facebook

THE President of Guyana in South America is the latest person to be impersonated on the social networking site Facebook. Read

Denis: Back to the future with a new Old Moore

HERE is the future, according to Old Moore’s Almanac for 2009. Read

Denis: Resolve to rekindle conversational art

I HAVEN’T bothered with new year resolutions. Read

Read Denis Kilcommons’s look at life

LOSING the Wonder of Woolies is a tragedy, for the people who are losing their jobs and because a piece of retail history is closing on our high streets. Read

Denis: Waiting game made me think of Piffy

THE English language is full of wonderful phrases whose origins are lost in the mists of time. Such as Piffy on a rock bun. Read

Dennis: Boar to bore!

I READ with interest that the Forest of Dean in Gloucestershire has a problem with wild boar. Read

Denis: Suggestion that’s not to be sneezed at!

SCIENCE is a funny thing. Well, it makes me laugh. Read

Denis: The old ones can still raise a hearty chuckle

KATHLEEN Parr of Marsh likes to share her giggles. When a joke makes her laugh, she more often than not sends it to me. This one is not new (even I’ve used it before) but it is funny. Read

And a merry Christmas to all; read Denis Kilcommons’s festive family story

‘We might have to sell the house and live in a tent. As someone once said, it will be a close-run thing’ Read

Denis: Spare a thought for the vulnerable

CHRISTMAS is almost upon us and families have planned the big day. Read

Denis: A time for families and peace

A READER has sent me a different version of that well-known festive poem The Night Before Christmas. This is supposed to have been written by “a peacekeeping soldier stationed overseas”. Read

Denis: ‘I was abducted by aliens, love!’

I HAD to laugh. A research group at Edinburgh University said romantic comedies gave people “unrealistic expectations” of relationships. Read

Denis: Can we really handle maths?

THE newspaper headline read: “British Pupils Lead The Western World At Maths”. Read

Denis: Ashes dilemma and a tale of true grit

SCATTERING the ashes of a loved one can be difficult. Where to do the deed? Read

Denis: Happy to talk about the positive things

I’M getting a little fed up of the way the media and politicians seem to be fuelling the nation’s financial plight. Read

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