Pain at tip of my fingers

Jul 18 2008 by Our Correspondent, Huddersfield Daily Examiner

MY fingers aren’t what they used to be, I reported. Which is why I went along to the local surgery for a blood test.

The doctor gave me the result this week and, I am happy to report, I haven’t got arthritis, which I know can be extremely painful and debilitating.

But I have got RSI (repetitive strain injury), which has presumably happened as a consequence of bashing away at a keyboard for half a century.

Many years ago, I thought I was getting early symptoms and asked the advice of my chum John, a surgeon who was also a consultant in RSI cases. He explained that in some instances, it was psychosomatic: people thought they had it when they didn’t. And if you had it, there was little you could do about it.

“So what should I do when I get pain in my fingers?” I said.

“Tell it to go away,” he replied (although he used a more Anglo Saxon version of the expression).

This I did - and it worked. At least, I thought it did.

But now it appears to have returned, more intent at disruption. I have tried telling it to go away but this time it has refused.

The only way for the condition to get better is to stop bashing away at a keyboard. So I have to give up writing this column or learn to drink a pint of bitter through a straw.

Well, a straw isn’t too bad. Maybe I can get a big one?