Reality is a bitter pill to swallow ...

Jul 21 2008 by Our Correspondent, Huddersfield Daily Examiner

I ALWAYS take an interest in newspaper stories about scientific research.

Scientists in Singapore, for instance, say two or three cups of black tea a day can cut the risk of dementia. Researchers in Texas claim a hay fever pill can combat memory loss.

Experts in Australia say you can hold Alzheimer’s at bay by keeping the mind active and doing crossword puzzles. Meanwhile, biologists at Newcastle have found the natural chemical – acetylcholine – that controls attention span. It may be possible in the future to provide a top-up dose which will help those suffering from attention deficit disorder and Alzheimer’s.

All fascinating and worthwhile studies that has had me upping my tea intake and buying puzzle books and hay fever cures. And I’ve got my name down for a crate of acetylcholine as soon as it’s available.

So I was a little disappointed when I read that, after extensive research, Swiss scientists came to the conclusion that sleeping well is good for the brain.

Excuse me while I have a lie down on the sofa and improve my intellect.

“I thought you had the lawn to cut?”

“All in good time. These little grey cells need rest and recuperation.”

The scientists conducted a test where a group of volunteers were taught how to follow a moving dot on a computer screen with a joystick.

Then one group were sent off for an eight hour kip and the other group were kept up most of the night.

Guess what?

The next morning, those who had slept could do the task much better than those who hadn’t.

Of course they could.

Everyone knows you can’t function properly after a night out until half past dawn. It stands to reason that those who are tired are not going to do very well.

Mind you, this is Switzerland, that neutral nation of cuckoo clocks, money and gnomes of Zurich.

The scientists should shift the emphasis of their research from the flaming obvious and develop a pill that lets you stay up all night having a good time and sends you off to work as fresh as a daisy the next morning.

Now that would be worthwhile.