Denis: Who'd go to bed with a John Prescott

Sep 5 2008 By Denis Kilcommons

JOHN Prescott has been found abandoned in Travelodge hotel rooms all over the country.

So has Russell Brand, which must have been a blow to an ego the size of Dorset, and Cherie Blair.

Not in person, you understand. But their autobiographies are the ones that head the list of "books left behind" by guests compiled by the hotel chain.

Others in the top 10 throwaways include Piers Morgan, Katy Price and Ben Elton.

Now I can understand all of these authors being dumped but what is difficult to fathom is that someone bought them in the first place.

Unless they were all presents. Or had been found abandoned elsewhere and picked up by someone thinking, well, it’s better than nothing to read, only to discover it wasn’t.

Apparently 7,000 books are left behind in Travelodge hotels each year, with autobiographies in an abundance.

Some of the other titles found left beside the rumpled bed sheets are far more interesting if only because of the speculation they arouse.

One customer in Southampton left behind two books: How To Be A Gentleman In Seven Days and The Karma Sutra for Dummies.

Poor chap. Presumably he had these sent mail order under plain brown wrapper. I mean, they are not the sort of volumes you hold proudly in your hand in the queue at W H Smiths. And also, presumably, they didn’t work.

An obviously optimistic couple at the Travelodge in Southend left behind a copy of The Best 50 Love Making Positions For The Over 50s. Who said, "Bless"?

And one can only wonder if there is something in the water at the Peterborough Travelodge. They had 10 copies of the full-blooded unexpurgated version of The Karma Sutra left behind.

So if you go there for a weekend away, ask nicely and they might lend you one.