Denis: When saints log on

Mar 10 2009 by Chris Mellor, Huddersfield Daily Examiner

IRISHMEN everywhere will soon be celebrating St Patrick’s Day on March 17.

Of course, the Irish don’t need much excuse to throw a party, even for a Welshman. And yes, St Patrick was Welsh.

England’s St George was a Roman soldier from Palestine and Scotland’s St Andrew was a fisherman from Galilee.

If you think this a little strange, I have found other saints whose patronage seems even more bizarre.

St Clare of Assisi, for instance, is the patron saint of television, even though she lived between 1194 and 1253, which is a bit before Play Your Cards Right.

Apparently she was given this distinction in 1958 by Pope Pius XII because when she was too ill to attend Mass she could reportedly see and hear the ceremony being performed on the wall of her room.

St Isidore, the Archbishop of Seville in 601, is the patron saint of the internet, which wasn’t invented for almost another 1,400 years. Mind you, he was the creator of what some have described as the first database, a 20-volume encyclopaedia.

While I was checking out worthy Christians of the past, many of whom died for their beliefs, I discovered that Saint Denis – mine own namesake – was the Bishop of Paris in 250 AD who picked up his head after it had been chopped off and tucked it underneath his arm. He is the patron saint of headaches.

St Brendan the Navigator, the patron saint of whales – as opposed to St David, the patron saint of Wales, who actually was Welsh – gained his title during an epic voyage in the 6th century.

The legend goes that this Irish priest and his crew stopped on a small island to light a fire and celebrate Mass. Imagine their surprise when they found they had beached on the back of a whale.

St Brendan has also been credited by some with discovering America which is possibly why the United States will be celebrating St Patrick’s Day more fervently than any other country.