Denis: Warming to a BBQ summer

May 25 2009 by Denis Kilcommons

READY for the heat wave? All predictions are that this will be a barbecue summer with temperatures regularly hitting 30deg C (or 86deg F in old money).

About time, too.

Particularly for all those people who have decided to take their holidays in this country this year, under canvas or in a caravan.

I mean, let’s face it, two weeks on a campsite in the pouring rain in Filey is no one’s idea of fun.

“Where’s your sister?”

“She’s surfing down the High Street to the chip shop on the flood tide.”

“Well I hope she’s wearing her fleece-lined rubber suit.”

Not that I would be attracted to camping in any case. My wife Maria and I tried it once in the South of France in 1969 with another couple. A campsite in a pine forest on the coast near St Tropez with beautiful beaches and beautiful weather and a perfect bar.

It all sounds wonderful until you add communal loos. I mean, I never did get used to getting up in the middle of the night to spend a penny and falling bottom over bosom over tree roots in the darkness.

Then our blow-up mattress got a puncture and Maria and I slept in the car, which was not so bad until we got an extra resident. A field mouse joined us which didn’t do Maria’s nerves any good. Have you ever tried sleeping with one eye open whilst clutching a shoe?