Denis: Exhilaration as White Van Man

Sep 29 2009 by Denis Kilcommons

FOR one day only I became a White Van Man.

The White Van Man is the iconic symbol of ordinary working chap, according to the more lurid tabloids.

He drives hard, cuts up old blokes in Morris Minors and is rogue of the road while being the holder of grass roots opinions on everything from the war in Afghanistan to gay marriage. He is Everyman.

And while I don’t drive a Morris Minor, I confess that I have been cut up or honked at by White Van Men on more than one occasion.

In the past they have made gestures of despair at my driving or lack of speed as they loomed large in my rear view mirror or because they were bored with life in the slow lane and blamed me.

Anyway, I joined their ranks when my younger daughter, Sian, asked me to help move her from her Manchester city centre apartment to a cottage in Sowerby Bridge.

My first problem was renting a van for a single Sunday and discovered that no local van hire firms actually worked Sundays. No problem, I found a national company on the internet that delivered and collected, entered my details, paid the fee and sat back waiting for Sunday morning. The van was delivered on Friday at 9am.

“We don’t work weekends,” said the bloke. “We’ll collect it Monday after 12. Or maybe Tuesday.”